Dog or Cat?
So which are you the Dog or the Cat?
The Dog’s Diary
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
The Cat ’s Diary
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities.
However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released, and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now…
May 30th, 2007 at 1:52 am
That is absolutely hilarious!
I’m definitely the dog … but a good cat-day once in a while is good too
May 30th, 2007 at 11:48 am
The cat has yet to figure out that he’s part of a fiendish psychology experiment run by the CIA. If he’s smart, he’ll put on a tinfoil hat. Works for me.
June 2nd, 2007 at 3:20 am
The cat just doesn’t get it. Typical cat…has the victim mentality all the while the dog is living life to it’s fullest!
Can you tell I’m not partial to cats? LOL
Don
June 6th, 2007 at 1:40 am
I never knew that I was so much like a cat!
June 6th, 2007 at 5:37 am
I wake up the cat but by the end of the day I am the dog. It’s quite funny as both animals seem to be thinking that. What’s even funnier is what they actually think.
June 6th, 2007 at 7:25 pm
Cat’s are never happy with what they’ve got. I see he doesn’t recall that his “captor” will, at times, allow him on to their lap on the couch. Oh the hell to pay if the dog even dreams of landing comfortably on the soft, plush couch cushions. The cat conveniently forgets his captor gives him the power to relieve himself at will, whilst the dog is at the mercy of the captor, who at times torches the dog by seeing how long he can hold it, knowing the slightest sign of weakness and failure will result in a beating with the Sunday times OR a nose thrust with inches of his mistake. The cat, the cat, the cat. Like all cats, he is looking at it all wrong.
Well done, great post!!!!!!! I laughed out loud!!! Peace dawg!
June 6th, 2007 at 8:27 pm
[...] girl Susan over at Life is Risky has a got a post to help ya nail it down. Her post on the topic of dog’s and cat’s will git you rollin’. If ya want a good laugh then git on over and read it. It’s the [...]
June 7th, 2007 at 12:04 am
The dog, definitely the dog — my favorite thing!
New to your blog, from your post on eMomsatHome, enjoyed the visit and look forward to more.
June 8th, 2007 at 7:09 am
[...] Life is Risky: The Dog’s [...]
June 8th, 2007 at 7:39 am
Dead on and hysterical. Dogs and cats are soooooo like that.
You might actually like this chart I made of my cat’s moods and expressions … and this little homage to The Cat in the Hat turning 50.
Take care
June 8th, 2007 at 7:39 pm
Excellent!!
Ahhhh, so it goes; Cat or dog?? Well, how bout both?? Pets no matter which kind—PRICELESS!!
June 9th, 2007 at 8:52 am
Thanks to everyone who has commented on this post. It definitely seems to be the most popular of my latest ones. Hmmm maybe I should expand on the life of the cat and dog ?Could be good for a few more laughs. What do you think?
June 11th, 2007 at 1:39 am
I’m so a CAT!
June 13th, 2007 at 1:27 am
Dogs think they’re human.
Cats think they’re gods.
June 16th, 2007 at 3:02 pm
Nice! Thanks for the laugh with this one.
June 17th, 2007 at 5:14 am
Cat; definitely the cat XD
June 18th, 2007 at 3:26 pm
Hah love it Im the dog all the way but a few catty days you know
June 23rd, 2007 at 8:01 am
this really tickled me… am def. a cat. lookin frward to ur next posting.
August 21st, 2007 at 8:29 pm
hilarious, though i am constantly shocked by how many people are actually deluded enough that they have somehow convinced themselves that cats are so much smarter than they are. i, for one, can’t be convinced that a domesticated animal that lives with an owner for x amount of years is incapable of learning its name.
August 22nd, 2007 at 4:24 pm
Ian,
I believe they definitely know their name, it is simply that they choose to ignore it. After all I am sure they find the fact we continue to call their name or actually go get them versus waiting for them to come to us rather hilarious. Thanks for the comment!
September 10th, 2007 at 6:45 pm
I wake up as the dog but after 9 hours at work I become the cat. Then I go home to my 2 cats both of which have vomited on the floor and shed hair on every available sitting area and realize I need to go outside so I can become the dog again.
October 7th, 2007 at 12:51 pm
There’s four cats that I know well, but only one of them acts like the cat description. They all have really different personalities, and one of them is actually more like the dog description. Kind of like a puppy disguised as a fat hyperactive 18-pound kitty.
November 17th, 2007 at 9:21 am
ROFLMAO, this is the first time I’ve seen this!
My dogs resemble that remark. My Sister has 3 Cats which have the most sour personalities you can find. They resemble the Cat description to a T.
Dawn
December 26th, 2007 at 3:52 am
that’s really funny…
i have 3 cats and a dog and while the dog description is pretty true, my cats aren’t like that at all.
they are the cuddly ones, who are sometimes a little too attached.
maybe they are a little spoiled?
hmmmm
December 26th, 2007 at 10:01 am
Katy
Thanks for the comment. I agree they can be really spoiled. When I read stuff like this I have to think back to my own animals and agree that sometimes stuff like this is so accurate.
January 14th, 2008 at 5:00 pm
I had a pair of cats that were the friendliest animals you’ve every met — until they got eaten by coyotes. The third cat has become clingy and demanding since then… He’ll head butt me in the middle of the night to wake me up.
On the other hand, I’ve known some dogs that up and leave when they get the slightest opportunity. Let ‘em off the leash and BAM! they’re gone.
I just got a new dog whose answer to any conflict is to collapse to the ground and not move… I spend a lot of time dragging a 125 lb dog around and sometimes have to pick him up to get him into the hatchback.
Fluffy Kitty’s last blog post..By: Cat Lover